A rose by any other name...

I love how kids think, how they process the information around them, how they come to the conclusions that they do. Like the time A was so upset about me telling a friend on the phone that J was turning into a monster. She was certain that he was physically changing and wouldn't go into his room the next morning for fear of what she might find.

K's kindergarten teacher pulled me aside last Friday to discuss why, in all the paperwork and meetings, we had never told her about the divorce. Pan to my shocked face as I am racking my brain to figure out what in the world K could have meant. I stood there in shock as her teacher informed me that K was telling her classmates that she really wanted to go see her old mom and dad but her new mom wouldn't even let her call them on the phone, and it hit me.

K has been referring to my parents, her grandparents, as her old mom and dad because thats what I call them. I am so glad that her teacher has a sense of humor or that could have been bad. Oh man what will she think of next.

If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

matching is all relative, right?

I love that my girls are growing up. I love that they can wake up, get their glasses, eat their breakfast, brush their teeth, and get dressed in the morning with minimal supervision from me. The other side of that coin though is that they pick out their own clothes for school now. K is pretty predictable on what she will choose, shorts and t-shirts, for my tomboy. A on the other hand, well you see the picture right? She has her own style and is very vocal about it.

Just in case your wondering the whole outfit does match. She has one white sock and one purple sock but they both have purple beads on them. The white squares on her plaid shorts match the white sock, and the purple heart shirt matches the beads.

I would like to have a shirt that say "She dressed herself"

If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

having patience

Its coming. The kids know its coming. Easter is almost here. I love Easter, the church services, the dresses, the food, and the kids hunting eggs all make for a great day. The kids love it too and I really do understand that waiting for the day to get here when your 4 and 5 is as close to torture as it gets. Now since i really do remember being young and how hard the waiting is I don't mind having the kids talk about it and make their plans and ask the endless questions that come along with it. Will we buy shoes? Can I paint eggs? Will daddy hide them in the yard again? When can we eat the candy we find? Can I eat Josh's candy? He is still a baby.

Last night though, as we are driving home from bible study at 8:30 at night, I just wanted some quiet time. The girls were told it was time to stop asking questions, start relaxing and getting ready to sleep. "but mom!!" says A, " Who will hide the eggs" A no more, we will talk about it tomorrow. "Mom" says K, "will i get more eggs than A?" Thats enough says the mom, no more talking at all till we get home. K-"Knock, knock mom, we are talking about Easter! HELLOO!"

Can you hear my head explode from there?

If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

how much is postage to alaska

Every so often in this house, (ok like every week it seems) I am challenged by my children. Not challenged by smarts or cleaning or cooking even. This is a Knock down, drag out, yes i can make you obey, and yes I am the MOM and i am in charge kind of challenge.

I know it sounds bad to some of you but this house is not a democracy, it is a monarchy. And when you stage a coo it becomes a dictatorship. And this dictator has come out to play. It starts pretty small usually, refusing to answer me, not picking things up when asked, giving me lip when they do finally answer me. I know its coming, I start getting ready for it. I know that one or the other or sometimes both are going to pick a thing and take a stand. Yesterday it was both.

K and A have both just been bullies lately, to each other, Josh, even to their best friends. I am willing to over look alot of things but intentionally hurting others isn't one of them. I understand the power trip behind it but I don't get the actually doing it. I hate being mean (despite what my children think) and would love just to play nice and have a fun time together but tonight that isn't going to happen.

After yesterdays fights and power struggles I was done. The punishment for bulling the next day were they go straight to bed. No dinner, no story, no nothing. K didnt believe me. It's 4:37 and she is in her pj's and down for the night.

If you dont laugh, you'll cry

attitudes

Attitudes-you hear that word and you kinda cringe. You know that that word is almost never a based on anything positive and you are just waiting for a bomb to hit you. Attitudes-should almost be a swear word for mothers, you know the kind, like crap or damn it. Not one of the biggies that get you stared at in public because you just muttered it under your breath as your child, once again, has decided to become a human pinball as you walk down the crowded aisle. I should feel better as I mumble it to myself. I should feel release that I have at least named the monster in the closet. I should feel joy that the dead elephant in the living room has been identified.

But I'm not. I feel as though I am battling the attitudes in this house on a daily basis. Sometimes they are little ones such as not saying please or thank you, picking up your dirty clothes. and my personal favorite "but why mom". Other times they are huge attitudes, hitting me or dad, being disrespectful to a teacher or babysitter, the knock down drag out fight over the fact that YES I AM THE MOM and sometimes that is enough.

I wonder what I am to do with tonight though? K is still sick, still coughing so hard, and still needs to be with me out here not only to make sure that she is OK through the night but so that her sister can sleep. Once again it seems like such a small thing to me but A is truly upset. She truly believes that she is being intentionally separated from the group and is beginning to resent that fact. The attitude is not so much that she wants the attention but that she wants to know that she is loved just as much as K and that I prove it.
So again I have to ask, what do we do now? Hubby had a wonderful plan though. I love his plans. A gets a daddy date all by herself on Saturday. K doesn't get to come because she is sick. Just A and Daddy going to lunch and the store to look at the toys. It takes so little to change these attitudes sometimes.

Attitudes-big, little, or honest, like everything else in life, are real and I have to choose how to handle them without developing an attitude of my own.

If you don't laugh, you'll cry

cough, cough

So its 10 pm and i am writing this as i wait for K to fall asleep on the couch. Poor baby is sick and has a cough so i though she would do better propped up tonight. She is doing better and hopefully tomorrow will be headed back to school. (please Lord let her go back to school) Admit it moms you all whisper that same prayer.

Now this isn't really a big thing in my eyes but in A's eyes its huge. She has been so upset these past few days that K is sick and she isn't. K gets the Gatorade while A has to drink regular juice. K gets medicine and A doesn't. My children are weird and actually like taking the stuff. K got to stay home from school and A had to go to preschool and play with her best friend and flirt with her teacher. So on and so forth till eternity.

A has even taken it so far as to try her hardest to convince me that the thermometer is wrong and she really does have a fever and cough ( which you can hear the fakeness all the way over there can't you?) and desperately needs that medicine. Cough, cough. Oh brother.

What do you do with that? I'm not about to give her medicine she doesn't need, (though she might nap better), but No No, sorry I digress. She doesn't need the medicine but wants the attention of being sick.

So I pull out the cough drops and chicken soup and everyone has a sick bed in the living room and we have a pj's and movie day at our house. Does A win the drama war? i don't think so. I mean you like being the center of the world so why shouldn't my 4 year old?

If you don't laugh, you'll cry

if you dont laugh, you'll cry

Those are famous words from some very powerful people, most recently my mother and grandmother, as i would call to tell them of one more way that these three children of mine have given me a new grey hair for the day. They were right. I always have two choices when it comes to raising these monster, oh i mean children, and its laugh or cry. I can choose to cry and have everything turn into these huge dramatic moments in life, or i can choose to laugh and go on with the rest of the day and wait for what ever other trouble they choose to participate in.

For the most part i choose to laugh for a couple of reason, one I don't really like the drama, two I have better ways to spend my day, and three they can sense fear.

K is my oldest and is what we call a hurricane. Not so much destructive as just never still, always whirling from idea to idea or plan to plan. When she comes to me with that look in her eye I know its going to be doozy. A is the middle child and has not taken to that role with any kind of grace. She spent the first few months of her little brothers life ignoring him and you by association if he happened to be in your arms. J is the youngest and the only boy. Yes you should be praying for him. I don't know exactly what he will be like yet cause he is still pretty young but I think that when he holds his breath when he is angry its not a good sign. Even worse is that he was doing when he was two days old in the NICU after being born 5 weeks early. Not a good sign.

In an effort to be totally honest, I have some pretty sweet, kind hearted kids and I do love them to death. It just is often the choice of laugh or cry and I hope, that like me, you'll choose laughter too.