I know you are all gasping in shock at this, I understand your disbelief, but I, Julianne, am a whiner. I whine about my childrens attitudes, I whine about my messy house, I whine about the weather, etc etc on into infinity.
Now I have another confession to make and this one is harder, I don't like change that I can't control. For those who didn't know my family and I have moved to Connecticut for 6 months, yes that's right, 6 months. It was a HUGE change for us and took something like 2 months just to get settled in and find some friends and feel normal again. Now is is almost time for us to pack up and move again. Another change, another city, another school, all of which I have very little control over and I have not handled it with much grace.
I would love to brag that I love moving, I love the change but its not true. The funny part is, I don't have trouble making friends, I don't have trouble finding a church family, I don't struggle with fitting in most places. My kids adjust pretty quickly, they love going to new schools and making friends. My husband likes his job and the responsibilities that come with it. I like having a automatic support group being in the FRG (family readiness group) so why is this so hard?
Why can I not simply smile and nicely follow where my husband leads and the navy sends? Why do I whine and complain? Why can I not remember that each and every time we have moved God has provider far and beyond my needs?
Here is another example of how much I am given. We are moving to Bangor and one of the only real downfalls to being there is the waiting list for base housing. When we got orders there we were told it could be up to a year wait till they would have a house available to us and that meant we would be moving into an apartment for as long as that took. Now there is nothing wrong with living in an apartment, the part that i whined about was that we wouldn't really settle in there. We wouldn't know how long we had there or when we were moving again, more change I cannot control. It has weighed heavy on my mind and heart and my poor husband heard more than his fair share from his crazy wife about how much I hated this, how hard it would be on me, why I hated it.
It is so very unsettling not knowing where you will be living when you move. You have said goodbye to everyone you know, everything familiar and are now going to a place where even a home of your own is not a certainty.
Tonight though hubby got a call from Bangor. They have a house for us if we would like to accept it. This NEVER happens in Bangor. They often won't even speak to you till you are at the base and we will not arrive till Jan. God again has given me exactly what I needed and more. He has given us a home is a good neighborhood with a good school for the kids, its close to work for Luke and has a 2 car garage for him to play in.
So while I go and once again apologize to my hubby and cuddle while we watch Mystery Science Theater (look it up, you will thank me) you can laugh with me. I will laugh because once again I have been a dork and not trusted that the God who loves me will provide all my needs and the same God has proven to me He will even as I whine.
If you don't laugh, you'll cry.
